Lock Him Up and Throw Away the Key! The fine art of male chastity.

“I know why the caged bird sings.”*  It’s because he is in chastity!

Some of ya’ll might be scratching your head and wondering what is this thing called male chastity?

To cage or not to cage, that is the question!

To cage or not to cage, that is the question!

Perhaps you are conjuring up images of medieval wives kept under lock until the arrival of key-wielding husbands. The men were in battle, the wives at home, and something had to protect their property from an invading penis, but male chastity? Come on! What’s up with that?

Women get the bad rap of being the emotional creatures. That really isn’t true. After all, men often can’t control their own sexual desires. Their need for sex with a particular person or a sexual act is often the driving force behind all that they do. They will go to great lengths to get it, often practicing in amazing deception, denial and even expense.

So who’s the emotional creature now?

I for one fully believe in female-led relationships. My clients want to experience some sort of toyssubmission, and a loss of control, the degrees vary by individual. What better way to rule a man, then to control the very thing he thinks with (his penis). And many men agree!

In short, chastity devices serve as a way of controlling the wearer’s sexual behavior, physically blocking the possibility of intercourse and masturbation. It’s primary function is orgasm denial. 

Orgasm denial is a multi-faceted erotic fantasy, but at its heart is a desire by a submissive man to give control of his sexual release to a dominant woman. Unlike many fantasies, it can be an all-consuming obsession, condemning the cage-wearer to constant frustration and anticipation. 

Being locked in chastity doesn’t mean the denial of sexual pleasure, just an abstention from release. In fact many men revel in the new found gratification they glean from the tease and denial games they engage in with their “key holders”.

The caged male likes the feeling of ownership, especially ownership of their sex. I personally enjoy seeing the frustration and pent up desire in my guy’s face. His eagerness to please and be a good boy. The possible promise of release and release.

How thrilling it is to be locked up and set free when his Dominant wants him for her pleasure. Such sweet objectification! He is reduced to a plaything, and at her command and timetable.

This is how one is released when the key is lost.

This is how one is released when the key is lost.

I once had a sub who lived quite some distance from me. He locked himself up and mailed me the all the keys to his lock. He did not wrap them in tissue and they were flopping loose in a letter size envelope. The envelope ripped, and the keys were lost in a mailbox forever. Good thing he had a small saw to cut himself out when I wanted him free!

Chastity is such a complex subject. I could go on and on. But I’ll end this now and write more later.

Intrigued? Contact me.

If you are curious about chastity and Feminine Domination, I invite you to contact me for a session in my San Jose studio.

Mistress J Studios is a sex positive studio that provides a safe place for personal expression. Nude male photography, male and female submission, cross dressing and gender bending are welcomed and encouraged here.

 My email is mistressjstudios@gmail.com.  I am in San Jose, California.  I look forward to hearing from you. 408-896-5836.

*This is a reference to the book I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou.

And the winner is… Click here to find out what is most requested.

I know many of you have been hanging by a thread since my last post, wondering what the most requested service is over here at Mistress J Studios, in San Jose, California. Well, since it is the holiday season, I’ll tell you.

lotsofcocks

 

It’s pegging!  

What is pegging some of you ask? It is getting poked in the butt with a rubber dong that is strapped around my hips.

It is amazing how many men desire the ultimate in role reversal. Remember that saying “It is better to give than to receive” ? My clients and I tend to agree, as I REALLY enjoy giving it good to a guy and having him take it like a girl!

The anus has thousands of nerve endings, thus making it a pleasurable experience when done right. Here is a link to Bliss Connection’s blog on 9 Tips For pain Free Anal Sex.

Pegging often goes deeper than just pleasure. I hear over and over, how my cis-gendered male clients want to give up control, to be taken, to surrender. Because of anatomy, even if they identify as submissive, their penis demands that they penetrate, and in most cases, move their hips.

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The magical mystery tour is dying to take you away..

In pegging, the boy and the girl trade places. She gives, he receives.

I love it. I am the one who controls the warm-up, the pace, the depth and the position. I tease and deny. I teach. Often, I will instruct my client to try a slow teasing technique the next time he has PIV sex. Certain positions give him a chance to feel leg fatigue, a common occurrence with the Cowgirl pose.   When the man wants to jump right into  the pounding, I hold him back, reminding him who’s in charge, and dictate the pace.

I see what the male sees, and he sees what the female sees. Pegging leaves me exhausted, and him often energized. Does this sound familiar folks? In this role reversal, the female gets a taste of how the man feels and what he does. They do a lot of work ladies!

Please don’t think for a minute that straight men who like pegging are secretly gay. It’s not about that at all. A straight man is not gay if he wants  to be pegged by a woman.

In our  deeply misogynistic culture,  men are raised with the fear of being labeled as someone who acts like a woman. How dreadful is that! (sarcasm) I mean, what man wants to be like a girl? Isn’t the man supposed to in charge of sex?

Charlie Glickman and Aislinn Emirzian, authors of The Ultimate Guide to Prostate Pleasure: Erotic Exploration for Men and Their Partners, claim “straight men who get into anal penetration are among the most secure in their masculinity: because they’ve examined themselves, faced their fears.”

They go on to say “The idea that penetration is an act of dominance is almost certainly tied in to sexism and the notion that the woman’s role is inferior. Plenty of men have absorbed these ideas at a subconscious level. Even if a man doesn’t think it is an act of dominance when he penetrates his (male or female) partner, he may still hesitate to switch roles because he is afraid that it will mean losing his masculinity if he takes a turn catching instead of pitching.”

We’re steeped in a culture of prescribed sexual roles for men and women, so it’s a thrill to break the “rules”. I see a man enjoying the feeling of vulnerability he’s not accustomed to. The taboo of being penetrated is (for some) is what is exciting. Yes, it feels good, but here is a respectable, Dockers wearing, alpha man being bent over my couch and taking it in the a**.  He has given up control and all he can do is spread his cheeks and smile. How fun for him!

And fun for me too. There is a feeling of power and responsibility for me. This man trusts me with his most valuable assets, (pun intended) his body and his dignity. And I take that role very seriously. I always start off gentle…

Since sexism goes both ways, one of the reasons pegging desired so often here is because my clients want it, but can’t get it at home. Many say their gal thinks it’s silly or emasculating. I think that attitude is what is silly. What can be more manly than a man feeling comfortable enough with his partner and share his deepest desires, whatever they are? And one where she can express and explore hers?

Pegging breaks convention, it liberates, it connects. And it feels good.

Just to be clear, Mistress J believes in consent from both parties, and one should never do anything that is not to their liking or something they find distasteful just to please another person.

Intrigued? Contact me.

If you are curious about pegging and Feminine Domination, I invite you to contact me for a session in my San Jose studio.

Mistress J Studios is a sex positive studio that provides a safe place for personal expression. Nude male photography, male and female submission, cross dressing and gender bending are welcomed and encouraged here.

 My email is mistressjstudios@gmail.com.  I am in San Jose, California.  I look forward to hearing from you. 408-896-5836.

You Naughty Boy! You Need a Spanking!

Attachment-1 (1)When boys are naughty, they need to be spanked!

Spankings are the second most requested service here at Mistress J Studios. The number one request will be in another blog post, so hold on pervs.

Why would a strong, manly man willingly pay me to turn them over my knee and spank their behind like a naughty child? Excellent question Grasshopper.

Spankings are intimate and erotic. There is a feeling of vulnerability and helplessness when one is draped bare-assed across a knee, with the buttocks on full display. One is instantly reduced to a body part, and a luscious one at that!

Bare bottom spanking is primal. It is humiliating, and for many, it feels good.

To quote Dr. Victoria Zdrok from an article on AskMen.

  • The bottom is a prime erogenous zone; however, unlike other zones such as the breasts and back of the neck, the sexual arousal nerves in the bottom are buried in a layer of fat and require harder stimulation — like in spanking — to trigger them;Attachment-1
  • The physiological process of sexual arousal demands that before orgasm can occur, blood must be collected and kept in the genitals and nearby areas. Spanking creates just such a physiological response, as the stinging of the skin causes blood to collect in the bottom (and simultaneously in the nearby genitals), thus accomplishing “mechanically” what caresses and kisses do psychologically.
  • The feeling of “surrender” or submission is an important part of a sexual response, as many men need to give up control and give themselves “permission” to feel sexual. Spanking incites and reinforces such feelings;

Often the eroticism is triggered by something in youth. Perhaps a spanking from an Aunt or baby sitter triggered a sexual feeling. Maybe a photograph or scene from a movie stirred the first flush of desire.

For me, I got excited over the thought of the Spanking Machine. As a child in the mid-west, on a birthday of a classmate, the birthday person had to go through the Spanking Machine. The Spanking Machine consisted of crawling under a gauntlet of legs and receiving a spanking from each kid. The thought of delivering the spankings thrilled me. Especially on the male classmates. I dreaded receiving them, and was glad when my birthday fell on a weekend. The Spanking Machine could only be experienced on the actual birthday. Those were the rules.

I have mentioned in previous blog posts that I love a man’s butt! I love to sensually dominate men. So spanking a male submissive is perfect for me!  I use my hand, a hairbrush, paddles and canes. When a man is bare bottomed and across my lap, I can FEEL his excitement! Sometimes I need to place a towel across my lap to protect my skirt from the excitement. It’s a lovely feeling.

Intrigued? Contact me.

If you are curious about spanking and Feminine Domination, I invite you to contact me for a session in my San Jose studio.

Mistress J Studios is a sex positive studio that provides a safe place for personal expression. Nude male photography, male and female submission, cross dressing and gender bending are welcomed and encouraged here.

 My email is mistressjstudios@gmail.com.  I am in San Jose, California.  I look forward to hearing from you. 408-896-5836.

 

A “Shocking” Tale of Electrical Attraction!

plug Bzzzzz, Zap, “ouch!” Ah, the sweet sound of success.

Electrical play is one that has a niche market. It certainly isn’t for everyone, because it can either be super painful or super pleasurable. Now Miss J knows that is true for most types of BDSM play, for some reason electrosex is particularly scary! But for those who are into  something “shocking”, I have a few toys to energize your session.

I know some of you are wondering what the heck is electrosex? According to Wikipedia  “Erotic electrostimulation (abbreviated e-stim[1] and also known as electrosex) is a human sexual practice involving the application of electrical stimulation to thenerves of the body, with particular emphasis on the genitals, using a power source (such as a TENS, EMS, Violet wand, or made-for-play units) for purposes of sexual stimulation.”

A TENs unit with a cock shock collar! Not for the faint at um, heart!

A TENS unit with a cock shock collar! Not for the faint at um, heart!

TENS unit? You mean like what they use at the Physical Therapist? Yes, electrostimulation has been used in the medical field for many years to treat chronic pain or rebuild muscles strength. So, with all it on this healing going on, a pervy person decided to try it on their naughty bits, enjoyed it, and a whole new sexual fetish was born!

Some people use electrostimulation for S&M play. It’s an excellent way to explore the pleasure/pain boundary without the usual risks of damage or lasting pain to the body. It can be precisely controlled and when it’s over, the one submitting to the stimulation is none the worse for the experience (something that cannot be said for most kinds of S&M play).

Before we go any further, I only use e-stim toys designed for sex play and the human body. If you have a pace-maker or heart arrhythmia or abnormalities, I will not use these on you. Your health and safety is my main concern.

For those lovely e-pervs out there, here is what I have to play with:

  1. TENs unit
  2. Cock Shock collar
  3. electric butt plug
  4. shocking nipple clamps

My favorites are the TENS unit and cock shock collar! I especially like using them together. My nipple clamps are photo 4also fun, but can be a bit much on a tender nipple. They work well in other exciting places too!

pd3723-04So far, only one person has been brave enough to try the shocking butt plug. Yes, you read that right, only one.  Do you think YOU might be brave enough to try this pleasure probe?

If you like sensation play and are curious about Electrosex and/or Feminine Domination, I invite you to contact me for a session in my San Jose studio.

Mistress J Studios is a sex positive studio that provides a safe place for personal expression. Nude male photography, male and female submission, cross dressing and gender bending are welcomed and encouraged here.

Intrigued? Contact me. My email is Mistressjstudios@gmail.com.  I am in San Jose, California.  I look forward to hearing from you. 408-896-5836.

Your House is Filled With Pervertables…

And you don’t even know it!

What’s a pervertable you ask? Don’t worry, it isn’t contagious. A pervertable is an every day object used for naughty things, and Mistress J has several.

Here are some suggestions from me. Feel free to comment with some of your favorites if I don’t list them. Let’s get a dialogue going.

This hairbrush was a gift from an admirer.

This brush was a gift.

 

A longtime favorite throughout history is the hairbrush. Dreaded and revered, the hairbrush is one of my favorite tools, and one of my most requested instruments. I love to give a nice over-the-knee spanking with my brush. After all, why should I hurt my hand?

 

 

Candles set the mood!

Candles can really set the mood!

Candles not only add ambiance, but also are a great addition to temperature play. The hot wax is poured on to the body and drips as it cools. Oh my! Hurts so good!

 

Not now, I have a (um) headache

Not now, I have a (um) headache

 

 

 

The opposite of hot is cold. This ice bag isn’t just for headaches!

 

 

All about the baste...

All about the baste…

Texture and sensation are fun with this everyday tool The BBQ brush! I like the silicone ones. They have a great feel and are quick drying after I give them a bleach bath for clean up.

 

 

 

 

A secure wrap in case of wind!

A secure wrap in case of wind!

Being green takes on a new meaning with these two old school items. As a young girl in the mid-west, the mothers on my block hung the family’s clothes on a clothesline secured with wooden clothespins. I love the way laundry smells when it is air-dried on the line. Don’t you?

 

 

 

Some other favorite pervertables include a wooden spoon, belt, toothbrushes, a comb, dish scrubber and feather duster.

Can you name a few that I have missed?

Making sure that nipple doesn't go anywhere!

Making sure that nipple doesn’t go anywhere!

If you like sensation play and are curious about Feminine Domination, I invite you to contact me for a session in my San Jose studio.

Mistress J Studios is a sex positive studio that provides a safe place for personal expression. Nude male photography, male and female submission, cross dressing and gender bending are welcomed and encouraged here.

Intrigued? Contact me. My email is Mistressjstudios@gmail.com.  I am in San Jose, California.  I look forward to hearing from you. 408-896-5836.

If the Shoe Fits…

These boots were made for walkin'. And tramplin' and being worshipped!

These boots were made for walkin’, and  tramplin’ and being worshiped!

Some say a girl can never have too many shoes.

I would tend to agree based on the amount of men that love a woman in sexy shoes! Heels can make both the wearer and admirer feel fabulous.

Shoes can make or break an outfit. And in my business my shoes can bring a man down to his knees!  Heels can be a symbol of feminine power and aggressiveness—of men’s craving for female dominance.

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Danielle admires Mistress J’s Nine West suede heels.

Heels are delicate and dangerous, (just like women) and those two things, working together, are the source of their appeal. 

“Will those pointy heels kick me?” my client wonders with hopeful anxiety. “If I am a good boy, maybe she will squish my balls between the shanks of her shoes.”

shoe

 

 

 

 

I have clients that want me to trip the light fantastic on their back with my sharp, pointy heels. I tend to oblige, as I find watching a man struggle under my feet enjoyable. I also enjoy seeing the unbridled eroticism of the scene. The obvious sexual pleasure he is getting from a piece of my wardrobe.

The pleasure of a good pair of heels isn’t just limited to my clients. I admit, when I am shoe shopping and come across a hawt pair of heels that look and feel right, I do get a little wet. When I find the perfect pair of shoes, I get  an absolutely must-have-it feeling.  Owning and wearing a fabulous pair of heels, boots, sandals, etc. is a source of great pleasure.

That being said, I wear a size 7 and welcome gifts of shoes or boots. But beware, this Mistress has expensive taste.

You CAN keep a good man down!

You CAN keep a good man down!

If you have a serious shoe fetish and are curious about Feminine Domination, I invite you to contact me for a session in my San Jose studio.

Mistress J Studios is a sex positive studio that provides a safe place for personal expression. Nude male photography, male and female submission, cross dressing and gender bending are welcomed and encouraged here.

Intrigued? Contact me. My email is Mistressjstudios@gmail.com.  I am in San Jose, California.  I look forward to hearing from you. 408-896-5836.

 

Feet Don’t fail Me Now! The art of foot worship.

Do you think the female foot is sexy? Kiss feet

Do you have naughty thoughts about caressing the high arch of a delicate foot, licking perfectly pedicured  toes or perhaps being trampled by a sharp stiletto?

If so, you are not alone. Of all the fetishes, perhaps the one that is most well-known and recognized is that of the foot fetish. Men and women alike by the millions admit to having some type of foot fetish and in the world of BDSM the foot fetish plays an integral role in many D/s relationships.  Many men I know have a huge desire to smell, lick, touch, taste, see, suck, female feet.

The foot fetish can cover a wide range of likes and lusts on the part of a submissive. There are some who may have an interest in a particular style or type of shoe being worn while others may focus on the foot itself. Some submissives have a fetish for well-manicured toes while others may like certain socks, stockings, pantyhose or thigh highs that encase the legs and feet. Still others may love the smell of a well-worn shoe, sock, stocking or just the smell of the foot itself. Each submissive who has a foot fetish may have a particular twist on the fetish itself that they enjoy the most.

I’d like to know what yours is…

honorThe way to this Mistress’s heart is through a foot massage. Personally, I could have my feet massaged for days. I love the way my cute size 7 feet feel in the warm palm of a man’s strong hand. Add a little oil and I am in heaven! My pedicured toes,smooth/soft soles and high arch on my feet is sexually arousing to some. My lover enjoys having one of my arches on his cheek during intimate moments.

Perhaps there’s a sexual attraction to feet because, feet are sometimes hidden as are other body parts. And when seeing just the curvy shape under a woman’e socks, one might feel curious, and wonder what they look like.

At home, I like to walk around barefoot. In a session, I start off in my sexy heels, and at some point, my shoes come off. I enjoy running my foot down the length of a man. If he is a true foot fetishist, we are a good match.flower

I love seeing a man kissing my feet or caressing it. I love using my toes in interesting ways on the body. My toes enjoy grabbing things, squishing things and curling around things. Since I am a fan of chest hair, my toes crave being buried in a thick carpet of male chest hair.

I also enjoy trampling! Lay on your back while I step on you. How about a little CBT with toes? Do you prefer shoes? That’s fun too. Let me dig my pointy heels into interesting places. It will only hurt if you want it to!

If you are curious about foot worship and Feminine Domination, I invite you to contact me for a session in my San Jose studio.

Mistress J Studios is a sex positive studio that provides a safe place for personal expression. Nude male photography, male and female submission, cross dressing and gender bending are welcomed and encouraged here.

Intrigued? Contact me. My email is Mistressjstudios@gmail.com.  I am in San Jose, California.  I look forward to hearing from you. 408-896-5836.