Lock Him Up and Throw Away the Key! The fine art of male chastity.

“I know why the caged bird sings.”*  It’s because he is in chastity!

Some of ya’ll might be scratching your head and wondering what is this thing called male chastity?

To cage or not to cage, that is the question!

To cage or not to cage, that is the question!

Perhaps you are conjuring up images of medieval wives kept under lock until the arrival of key-wielding husbands. The men were in battle, the wives at home, and something had to protect their property from an invading penis, but male chastity? Come on! What’s up with that?

Women get the bad rap of being the emotional creatures. That really isn’t true. After all, men often can’t control their own sexual desires. Their need for sex with a particular person or a sexual act is often the driving force behind all that they do. They will go to great lengths to get it, often practicing in amazing deception, denial and even expense.

So who’s the emotional creature now?

I for one fully believe in female-led relationships. My clients want to experience some sort of toyssubmission, and a loss of control, the degrees vary by individual. What better way to rule a man, then to control the very thing he thinks with (his penis). And many men agree!

In short, chastity devices serve as a way of controlling the wearer’s sexual behavior, physically blocking the possibility of intercourse and masturbation. It’s primary function is orgasm denial. 

Orgasm denial is a multi-faceted erotic fantasy, but at its heart is a desire by a submissive man to give control of his sexual release to a dominant woman. Unlike many fantasies, it can be an all-consuming obsession, condemning the cage-wearer to constant frustration and anticipation. 

Being locked in chastity doesn’t mean the denial of sexual pleasure, just an abstention from release. In fact many men revel in the new found gratification they glean from the tease and denial games they engage in with their “key holders”.

The caged male likes the feeling of ownership, especially ownership of their sex. I personally enjoy seeing the frustration and pent up desire in my guy’s face. His eagerness to please and be a good boy. The possible promise of release and release.

How thrilling it is to be locked up and set free when his Dominant wants him for her pleasure. Such sweet objectification! He is reduced to a plaything, and at her command and timetable.

This is how one is released when the key is lost.

This is how one is released when the key is lost.

I once had a sub who lived quite some distance from me. He locked himself up and mailed me the all the keys to his lock. He did not wrap them in tissue and they were flopping loose in a letter size envelope. The envelope ripped, and the keys were lost in a mailbox forever. Good thing he had a small saw to cut himself out when I wanted him free!

Chastity is such a complex subject. I could go on and on. But I’ll end this now and write more later.

Intrigued? Contact me.

If you are curious about chastity and Feminine Domination, I invite you to contact me for a session in my San Jose studio.

Mistress J Studios is a sex positive studio that provides a safe place for personal expression. Nude male photography, male and female submission, cross dressing and gender bending are welcomed and encouraged here.

 My email is mistressjstudios@gmail.com.  I am in San Jose, California.  I look forward to hearing from you. 408-896-5836.

*This is a reference to the book I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou.


  1. Mistress J, just a couple of other thoughts to consider….
    -1- any man may become erect at any time, say when the wind blows. For a well endowed man with a small cage the Mistress also gets a needed correction.
    -2- with modern technology, the Mistress can offer remote control corrections or pleasurable stimulations. All being done in the vanilla world. Now that’s control 🙂

    ,,,and any guess whom the sub will be thinking of (or is it who — always get that confused 🙂

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